Stuck in a Rut

As I was nearing the end of my Christmas Break I started to feel very sad that I had to return to work. This school year has not turned out exactly the way that I had envisioned teaching first grade. I had such a marvelous year last year, so right now I just feel a whole lot of disappointment teaching in the first grade environment. I also started thinking about my big plans.
Five years ago I thought to myself, I will teach for about five years, then have kids and stay home with them, then try to find a job at the university level when I want to return to work. Well things have changed. First of all, I decided that I did not want to work at the university level this past spring after a trip with several of my professors. So that plan now needs adjusting. Second, I have been working for five years now and have really no idea when or if I will even be able to have children. So where do I go from here is my problem. I feel like I am in a rut. I feel tired of teaching right now. I am not sure if my plan several years ago has depressed me or if I am truly not doing what God has planned for me. I just know that I do not look forward to another 20-25 years of teaching.
The other night during “church” we were discussing the difference between goals/plans and dreams. We came to the agreement that dreams are more beneficial than goals. Dreams are a vision of what could happen if there was nothing standing in our way. We got on the subject because of John the Baptist’s outlook on life. I got to thinking about my own vision that I have had in my head for a while now. I would love to own and run a small children’s bookstore, kind of like the one in the movie You’ve Got Mail called The Shop Around the Corner. (If you haven’t seen the movie, watch it!) I know that sounds absolutely insane because I have obviously taken a completely different route. Perhaps, though, I became a teacher because I never thought it was possible. I mean for crying out loud, it wasn’t even possible to stay in business in the movie. How in the world could it in reality?
Bryan thinks it is just because I am having a bad year at school that I am being so wishy-washy as he calls it. One minute I am talking about what if I worked in a florist, the next minute about owning a bookstore, and so on and so on. Maybe he is right. I just know that I am stuck in a rut right now. I have a wonderful life with a temporarily frustrating job. Is it my dream job? Not right now. Will it ever be? I am not sure. Will I change my mind about that? Maybe, but I think I just might look more optimistically into making some adaptations to my dreams to help them come true.