The Fear of the Unknown

Right now I am sitting in our semi-hot house waiting for the two air conditioning guys to finish fixing our air conditioner. Luckily our days are not as hot this week as they were last week. Apparently we have a blown motor and who knows how much that is going to cost plus the $70 per hour fee they are charging us. I am overwhelmed with the thought of the unknown. Not just because of the air conditioner but what it represents. As homeowners, you are constantly faced with problems that need to be fixed. It seems as if it is one thing after another all the time. That scares me big time because we are going to be on a very tight budget. I am also overwhelmed with the thought of parenthood and how that is going to fit into our lives. Bryan and I have been going to some birthing classes which have been helpful but they have mostly been for the few hours before baby Seth is born and the few days afterward at the hospital. What the heck are we going to do once we get home? I guess I could be reading about all of this, but for some reason I have been avoiding that. Don't get me wrong, we are super excited about our little one that will be here in about 12 weeks, but I think a part of me wants to live life without a baby as long as possible because I am fearful about so many things. I know I have been blogging about the baby a lot but most of my time is spent like it has always been. Bryan and I still do the same things we have always done and we have worked hard to not let being pregnant consume us. Now some things are unavoidable, like the monstrous kicks that can now be seen quite frequently from the outside of my belly or the fact that I can't play 18 holes of disc golf without making a stop at the bathroom at least once. But we have continued to live life without being consumed by the baby. That doesn't mean that I don't think about the little one inside of me all the time because I do. I know we are going to do fine as parents but that fear of the unknown is so daunting right now. I am so thankful that at least God gives you 9 months to try to get a grasp on what is to come.